Lawliet's lament
by applesandstrawberries
Summary: The wieght of being Kira is bearing down hard on Light. Can he take the pressure or will it become too much? How will L react?  A bitter sweet one shot inspired by a song I heard L sing. Rated T for Yaoi  nothing major  and character death. Please Review!


**A/N – Ok .. So I was on YouTube one day looking up L's best moments, funny stuff ect. When I found this video 'L singing (it's really his voice)' and I couldn't really believe it. I clicked on it and .. Sure enough .. It was L singing this bitter sweet song.! I swear it near brought me to tears listening to it, not just because they had the clip of his death in the video :'( any way .. It gave me the idea for this one shot. It is a little dramatic and I don't know if you will like it but here goes .. **

**Lawliet's Lament **

L sat in his room with Light. He sat at the end of the bed in his crouched position, his arms crossed over his chest gripping his shoulders tightly.

Light sat at the other end. Legs crossed and leaning against the wall.

Kira filled their thoughts. Light was not sure what to do any more. He was in love with L. But he was Kira. L despised Kira. Therefore he would despise Light if were to ever find out. Light knew though, that one day, he would, and he couldn't live that.

He watched L at the end of the bed, a deep sadness filled his eyes and he sighed quietly. Not quiet enough though.

"Is there something wrong Light?" L turned his head slowly to look at Light. His large black eyes staring straight into Light's soul with an intensity that took Light's breath away.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki, there is something wrong" Light said, the same sadness in his voice as was in his eyes.

L turned around completely now, not actually expecting that answer. He crawled over to sit next to Light. Light only lifted his head slightly to look at L briefly with such sadness, it hurt L to see.

"What's wrong Light?" L couldn't stand to see Light this way. His heart filled with pain as he heard Light sigh again.

Tears began to stream down Light's face and he sobbed quietly. L felt his heart rip in two at the sight. He placed a soft hand on Light's shoulder not sure what else to do. He used his free hand to wipe the tears off Light's face.

At this Light only began to cry more. Knowing that L cared for him only made him feel so much worse. He took a deep breath and looked up L again and held his gaze this time, studying L. His eyes were full of panic and concern for Light.

"Come on Light let's go" L helped him up and lead him slowly out of the room.

Light did not know where they were going but did not protest. They made their way down the hall toward the bathroom. The two entered the room and L sat Light down on the edge of the bath. He then took a cloth and handed it to Light.

Light took the cloth from L and wiped his face. Taking a few deep breaths he managed to stop crying.

L looked at him with slight relief that Light was no longer crying. He crouched down on the floor and looked up at Light. His pale face showing no emotion, but his eyes giving him away. There was deep love in them for Light.

"L .." Light said, his voice coming out as a whisper.

Light leant down and kissed L. It was a soft, wet kiss, Light was crying again.

L blushed lightly and once again wiped away Light's tears.

"Light, why are you crying?" L asked, a hand still on Light's face.

Light didn't know how to answer that. He looked at L blankly searching for an answer.

"Do you love me L?" was Light's reply.

L was a little shocked at this. His eyes widened slightly and he too was stuck for an answer.

"Light .." was all he could manage to get out.

"Please L" Light begged him, "Do you love me?"

L looked at him, his expression turned soft.

"Yes Light, I do" L told him, and he watched as more tears streamed down Light's face.

"Light, please, why are you crying? What's wrong?" L was beginning to panic. Light had never acted this way. It just wasn't like him.

"Because .. I love you too" Light said, his voice cracking.

L was confused, he didn't know what to say.

He lead Light back to his room, L looked out the window and saw that it was raining. He decided to take Light outside. Maybe the fresh air would make him feel better. He grabbed Light's arm and pulled him through the door that led out to a balcony.

It was only raining lightly. A beautiful mist in the dark, illuminated by the lights below.

Light leant against the railing, unable to support himself.

"I can't do it any more L" Light said suddenly breaking the silence.

"Can't do what Light?" L said stunned. _Is he dropping out of the investigation?_

"I can't keep going, knowing that I'm going to hurt you" Light tried to stay calm. But he couldn't take it anymore.

"What do you mean Light? You're not hurting me?" L could not understand what was going on. Why is Light suddenly acting so strange? _Could it be because he is ..._

L's thoughts were interrupted as he saw Light climbing over the railing looking down at the ground seven stories below.

"LIGHT!" L shouted sheer panic masking his face. He ran over to where Light was now standing only just holding onto the railing. He grabbed on to Light's shoulders holding him back.

"Light what are you doing!" Light was going too far. Was he out of his mind?

"Don't call me Light!" He shouted back tears falling uncontrollably.

L stared at him stunned. He had truly gone insane. L tried with all his strength to pull him back over the railing but it was to no prevail.

"Ligh .. " L paused not saying his name. He started again.

"What has gotten into you! You're acting insane!" L was beginning to lose his calm he was terrified.

"Why shouldn't I call you Light! It's your name!" L tried again to pull him back over the railing but again it was useless.

"Because I am not Light!" He was now screaming at L.

"Of course you are!" L screamed back at him.

"You are Light Yagami, son of police chief Soichiro Yagami, and the man I love!" L was now crying too. He didn't understand what Light was saying.

"No" Light said in a flat voice.

"I am Kira" Light said closing his eyes.

L's own eyes widened in disbelief. Light Yagami had just admitted to being Kira, and was now prepared to end his life.

"I'm sorry L, I never wanted to hurt you" Light said softly now.

L just stared at him, still holding Light's shoulders.

"I .. I don't care" L staring into Light's now blood shot eyes.

"I love you Light, I don't care if you are Kira"

Light stared back at L. He looked into his beautiful black eyes watching as tears slowly ran down his pale cheeks.

The rain come down harder now. Adding to the moment.

Light turned on the edge of the balcony and L was filled with joy as he thought Light was climbing back over. Instead, while keeping one hand on the rail and one hand on L's cheek, he kissed L. His lips were cold and wet from tears, It was a soft and passionate kiss.

"I'm so sorry L, please believe that I never wanted it to end this way" Light said pulling away.

He turned again out stretching his arms so he was now leaning out over the street.

He took one final breath and let go off the railing.

"**LIIIIGGGHHHTTT!" **L yelled out after him as he watched Light's body fall gracefully towards the ground below.

He heard a 'thud' and the world around him stopped. His breathing stopped. His heart stopped.

L stood. Paralysed with shock. This had not just happened. Soon he would wake up. Light would be sleeping next to him and L would kiss him and he would kiss him back.

But when L didn't wake up and Light was not laying next to him the shock wore off and he was surrounded by sadness and anger.

He turned and ran inside, he ran down stairs and out the front doors of the headquarters.

He continued running to the left side of building. He ran until he saw him.

Light's body lay broken and bleeding on the cement in front of him.

L walked slowly towards him, his head spinning. When he reached the spot where Light lay he collapsed to his knees and broke down crying lifting Lights bleeding head in his hands.

He looked down and saw Light's face. Blood stained, his eyes were closed, mouth opened slightly. His legs were twisted in and broken position and his arms were stretched out and on either side of him.

"Light .." L sobbed quietly.

Gathering all his strength L lifted Light in his arms and carried him back inside. He had to take him to the elevator as he would not have the strength to carry him upstairs.

He carried Light to the bathroom they had been in just a few short minutes ago. L placed Light down and cleaned all the blood that stained him. When Light was clean L picked him up again and carried him this time to his room.

He lay Light on his bed and knelt down at his side breaking down again.

"Why Light?" L sobbed into Light's chest.

L lifted his head and heard the song that had been playing earlier.

_Alone she sleeps in the shirt of a man_

_With my three wishes clutched her hand_

_The first that she be spared the pain _

_That comes from a dark and laughing rain_

_When she finds love_

_May it always stay true_

_This I beg for the second wish I made too_

_I wish no more_

_My life you can take_

_To have her please just one day wake_

_To have her please just one day wake_

L cried uncontrollably for another hour before getting up and walking back to the bathroom.

He came back into the room holding a razor in his hand.

"I will see you again soon Light" L said standing over Light's body.

He sang along softly to the song holding the razor against his thin, pale wrist.

"I wish no more my life you can take to have him please just one day wake"

"To have him please .. Just one .. Day .. Wake."

L pulled the razor swiftly across his wrist. He hissed in pain and walked over to Light.

He once again knelt beside Light pulling the razor quickly across his other wrist and watched his blood spill onto the floor.

L's head fell onto the bed and his eyes closed slowly. The two men lay next to each other in eternal sleep.

**A/N well.. There you have it. I like this one shot. I think it is bitterly sweet and rather dramatic. But please let me know what you think. Did it suck, Did you love it? **

**I was also thinking of writing one where Watari, Soichiro ect. Finds them? I'm not sure. Let me know what you think about this.**

**Please Review I would Love to hear your opinion.!**

**Bye for now,**

**Maddy. **


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